When the two of you met, the enticing warmth and magnetic connection between the two of you was intense and magical.
life felt bright, invigorating and heavenly. it was as if nothing, and no one else, existed in the world except you and your partner.
Fast forward five, ten, twenty or more years. they both feel tired and overwhelmed by their responsibilities. maybe you have kids, busy jobs, reduced hours, or other concerns to deal with.
You don’t know why… but you feel something is missing. The spark in your relationship has gone out. maybe she’s even struggling to find a sense of connection with her partner and wondering “what went wrong?”
Life has a way of bringing us back to reality sooner or later. As demands, stresses, obligations and duties arise, it can be difficult to maintain a deep spiritual connection with our partner.
what is a spiritual connection?
A spiritual connection is basically a deep affinity between two people. This deep closeness goes beyond superficial personality traits, likes, dislikes, or shared interests. instead, a spiritual connection is about sharing the same core values, beliefs, life goals, and dreams as the other. two people who share a spiritual connection will find themselves on the same vibrational wavelength and will be able to share everything with each other.
Spiritually connected couples often share the following traits:
- empathic listening
- mutual respect
- mutual appreciation
- authentic interaction
- open communication
- meaningful conversations
- intimate sex
- unconditional love
Spiritual connection is more than just playing the role of “wife/husband”, “girlfriend/boyfriend”, “wife/wife”, etc. rather, spiritual connection in relationships is about meeting on a raw, intimate level of the soul.
the cyclical nature of love
no relationship stays the same because the nature of life is constant change from moment to moment. one minute they will be passionately committed to each other, and the next, they will both be distant. It is important to remember that it is totally normal to experience these fluctuations in your relationship. In fact, you may even notice that your connection with your partner is cyclical, meaning that it follows a circular pattern of change.
for example, a period of time where you can share many deep conversations, followed by quietly sharing each other’s presence, followed by a sense of isolated distance. and this cycle can be repeated many times. the same can be said of sex. you could go through a period of intense passion, followed by playful exploration and then routine sex.
It is healthy to experience these fluctuations. in fact, not experiencing these cyclical changes would be very worrying. Not experiencing these fluctuations would mean that one or both of you are holding on to the past and forcing the relationship to be a certain way. on the other hand, the lack of growth and change would mean a stagnation of the relationship. Stagnation can occur for many reasons, but the most common causes are resentment, abuse, or “getting over” the current relationship.
9 ways to create a spiritual connection with your partner
Creating a spiritual connection with your partner is not about indoctrinating them to believe what you believe or like what you like. nor is it about creating a spiritual connection about changing the other person to be more “spiritual.” both approaches are immature and detrimental to your relationship.
Instead, creating a spiritual connection is about deepening the soul contact between the two of you. spiritual connection is about becoming vulnerable, engaged, attentive, open and receptive to the other person.
here are some recommendations:
1. gives more eye contact
One of the saddest things I often see is couples who no longer look each other in the eye. these couples communicate with each other, often engaging in full conversations without even looking at each other.
eye contact is extremely intimate. When you give your partner eye contact, you are basically showing them that you are interested and deeply engaged in what they are saying. eye contact is not only a sign of respect, it is the best way to connect with the soul of another person. Have you ever heard of “soul gazing”? soul gazing is based on the premise that you can bathe in the waters of another person’s soul by looking into their eyes.
2. set aside “me time” each day
Sometimes life is too busy to have the energy to maintain a relationship. one of the easiest things you can do is set aside time every day outside of your busy schedule to sit exclusively with your partner. even sitting together in each other’s arms on the couch watching a movie is a great way to start deepening your spiritual connection.
3. explore what spiritual lessons your partner is teaching you
Even if it’s not done consciously, your partner’s behavior, words, and thoughts can teach you a lot. having a spiritual connection is about learning how to grow spiritually in your relationship. what is your partner teaching you? remember, our partners often see our “blind spots” and therefore can reveal a lot about ourselves, even unintentionally.
4. touch more
See also: FAQ&39s | FitTrack
physical contact is an immensely important element in creating a spiritual connection. the subtle energy exchanged through touch is very bonding as it helps to create a deeper affinity with your partner. physical contact is soothing, comforting, and can often express much more than words can.
5. have meaningful conversations
what’s in your heart? What means a lot to you that you want to share with someone? what epiphanies have you had? Start a conversation with your loved one. i like to have meaningful conversations with luna during our morning walks. share what’s on your mind and find a regular place and time to do it.
6. find ways to laugh together
Laughter opens the heart and deepens your spiritual connection immediately. learn to laugh at yourself, at his partner, and together, in a light-hearted way. even just watching funny videos together can deepen your bond.
7. openly communicate your feelings
Most disconnected relationships lack open communication. open communication is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings honestly while respecting the other person. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg calls this “nonviolent communication” (I recommend you read his book for more guidance). when you feel hurt, angry, isolated or any other emotion, express it. not even your partner can read your mind, so don’t make that assumption. Openly communicating how you feel is the cornerstone of an honest relationship based on mutual care, respect, and love.
8. practice self love
It’s true: Without truly loving and accepting yourself as you are, you’ll have a hard time loving your partner unconditionally. instead, you will impose endless expectations, demands, and beliefs on who they “should” be and how they “should” act. By practicing self-love and accepting all the light and dark within you, you will deepen your spiritual connection with your partner. true change comes from within, so if you want your relationship to become richer, you must make your relationship with yourself richer.
9. forgive past hurts
Holding grudges and mental “recounts” of wrongdoing is a sure way to sully any relationship. the more you hold on to grievances, the more isolated and distant you will feel from your partner. If you tend to hold a grudge, try to make room for yourself to let go and open your heart to forgiveness. You will most likely need to openly communicate how you feel to your partner in a respectful and non-violent way in order to seek closure.
even soulmate and twin flame relationships become obsolete
We tend to idealize our relationships, even soul mates and twin flame connections. but the truth is that no matter what kind of relationship or karmic arrangement you have, you will eventually experience boredom. no relationship will remain consistently vibrant, no matter how magical.
The trick is to distinguish between natural cyclical boredom and deeply unhealthy relationships. Sometimes, we get stuck in relationships that keep us spiritually stagnant or trapped in roles of victim, martyr, persecutor, savior, or love addict. If you think you might be struggling with a toxic relationship, read that article for more advice.
Tell me, did this article help you? In what ways have you rekindled a spiritual connection with your partner?